did the walk of shame from ex-boyfriend's room only to find other ex-boyfriend sitting in the living room. some people shouldn't be allowed to be friends.
some people shouldn't be allowed to be desperate.
I successfully cooked a taquito with a lighter! My stomach hurts now tho.. im either guna blame it on the undercooked taquito or im feeling guily about porkin my brothers gf a lil bit ago
small problem..I have a major exam in the morning so I might have to go to the library after the party
so no drinking for you?
don't be silly
No... We were arguing over whose family is more dysfunctional... Then my brother stumbled in and puked all over jakes ugly dog.
dude. we need more in our fridge then just beer and applesauce.
Dude they have your information. Come back. The sheriffs office is here, they are pissed..please come back otherwise jail is inevitable. Call me
You distracted them by dancing on the stripper pole, I ripped the flag off the wall, stuffed it in my pants and we were out.
So I paid for the taxi using pennies and hair clips, no need to thank me.
nothin like your phone freezing up and sending out old booty calls at 11am on a sunday. fml.
Invited the whole bar back to my place for an after party.....shit got real with everyone seeing dad drink moonshine like a champ.
She had an asthma attack and had to stop but insisted on getting me off. It's official she's the one
Oh boy I hope we come out of this alive. And with clean prison records
Swear on my life the dude next to us just ordered a pizza and I will fight to the death for a slice
boys just don't understand what they're missing out on.
he's missing out on my boobs looking marvelous this evening.
I passed out while searching "symptoms of narcolepsy"...
Randomize
