He's marrying her, which means that she is his most important person in the world, so you gotta deal with it...okay?
it's not the walk of shame if you do it in cowboy boots.
My 3rd grade teacher, who was also my fav, thought i was in prison. That seriously upsets me.
i was having this nice romantic moment with my girlfriend. then jimmy came in and peed on the fridge
you made wolf sounds and yelled "team me" the entire movie
Note: fake nails and fingering anus.... Not a good idea
There's nothing more uncomfortable than drifting into sexual fantasies on a roadtrip and realizing you have a boner with three other dudes in the car.
just found my old 10th grade stash of beer in a shoebox. guess who's getting trashed tonight
I wish there was a lawn mower version of Roomba so I could just drink and cheer it on from the stoop.
I want everyone to love me, and THEN I will choose who gets to eat me out all the time.
Fair warning: I will be throwing corn dogs at you every time I see you this week.
I forgot to tell you that he serenaded me with "Fuck Her Gently" by Tenacious D. And I didn't hate it.
so then the cop took one last hit off our blunt and then drove off in his car and we just all stood there thinking, yea... that just happened...
A stripper set a mans ass on fire... the club smelled like burning ass and boxers.
everything I love is going to destroy me, so if coconuts are the answer, so be it.
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