ok i said sorry. what else do you want?
100 blowjobs
Why the hell does jager make you get to the point of having to army crawl around cause you cant feel your legs and scream jaga bombs when puking??
your brother just told me that Guinness is the first book of the Bible...
All four of us managed to throw up in the same bathroom at different times during the night. I think we'll get along great living together.
He was singing "i gotta feeling" under his breath as i was pulling my top off.
I told him he was my first gentile. He was so flattered.
No need to get angry I'm just tryin to get my door back
You tried to put a condom on my dog, then he ate it.
First thought today, I need a ventriloquist dummy that looks like me. This week's project has been determined.
It's isn't revenge sex until you've cum on her porcelain doll collection.
All I know is I was dancing to Shakira in his alley and I think rubbing my junk on his car door.
Alright, text me when you get close. I've got a mustache and I'm ready to get my day drunk on.
let me drop the bass on your empty vagina syndrome
I was thinking that, but I'm not sure the proper etiquette on asking about someone's nipple rings. Even if you did see them and compliment them once.
Hey, remember that time a week ago when we walk-of-shamed literally down the Vegas Strip at 8:45am and I had one broken heel?
Randomize
