Just lost my virginity while listening to rick astley. torn between horror and jubilation
You'd think after all these years of evolution that it would be longer than a golf pencil.
Thanks for telling my landlord that the poop stain was yours and not my secret dog.
it got awkward when the only couple not hooking up was just watching..
I don't like finding out that my fuck buddy is a good person.
Care to explain why there is sushi in the soap dish in the bathroom
please bring me a paper towel asap.
I was drinking wine in bed and spilt some on my chest.. And I cautiously guided it into my belly button but now I dont know what to do.
The police report said that there were 25 cases of bud light, two hookers fighting in the street, 13 cop cars, and two road blocks, a kid got tazered, another got maced, and over a hundred people in the house
So that means its a bad thing that your dad found it huh?
I kind of feel like BP. I'm dressed in green and absolutely horrible for the environment.
I just walked in on my lesbian roommate having sex in the kitchen, and it was awesome. We proceeded to shots naked together. Happy birthday to me.
Whoa, I am aware of WAY too many squirrels right now...
Hooked up with a 20 year old. Only reason I did was cos I thought he was 18
I've made this amazing blanket/pillow cocoon combo and I am set for life in here.
Have you ever drank bourbon in your underwear while wearing a Santa hat and reflecting on the decisions of your life? Asking for a friend.
He spent ten minutes post bj, limp cock still out, in shock repeating 'best blow job ever'. So yes, yelling I am the penis queen out the car window was justified.
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