I can't believe believe she called me a slut. She doesn't know anything about me or my life.
Shit, that's something a lot of sluts say.
I drew a venn diagram at the top of my final comparing stuff i know and stuff on the test.
It took my four years to get this degree, and 4 hours to lose it, My parents are not impressed.
So you have no knowledge as to why I am hearing loud repetitive mooing from next door?
hes trying to draw the periodic table on his chest with a sharpie. i'm not sure how thats going to help him on his chem final, but he keeps shouting "this is how the pros do it"
Just started taking liver support pills. Welcome to Senior year.
Had to crawl to the kitchen this morning cuz I was too hung over but really wanted fruity pebbles. yes. I ate fruity pebbles on the kitchen floor.
We broke into the space center. If i go to jail I wanted to tell you, you have a fantastic dick. Use it wisely.
I was more obsessed with the sweat stain on her back that was simultaneously shaped like a vagina and the virgin Mary.
Since you're going to wake up and see one bajillion missed calls from me, I just want you to know that's a perfectly reasonable number. Now come downystairs.
He was having Sex and you yelled 'hot and dangerous!" and he responded with "if you're one of us then roll with us!" when he went to he bathroom I saw her getting dressed, looking mortified.
There was this blissful moment of peace and quiet... then you ran past our window with a lit firecracker in hand going, "SHIT. SHIT. SHIT!"
Yeah, I'm just gonna try to repress that and remember him for his big dick and perfect jawline.
When you're trying to sneak from the bathroom to your room with dildo, but it glows in the dark and suddenly your entire life is illuminated in the shape of dick
My friend just got engaged and I'm setting vibrators on fire.
Your life rocks...
Randomize
