Omg I just drooled on the screen of my phone from smiling with my mouth open while textin bahahahaahah
I'm at a party with that guy you made out with on new years. He remembers your name!
Just took my morning after pill in the library
i just set an alarm for noon. fuck yes winter break.
I like how washing the beer bong is now a regular part of washing the dishes.
You're always adorable, but when you're drunk, you're like Chia Pet adorable.
let's just skip the pleasantries and go back to my place for pizza and casual sex
Someone left their drag queen on my couch. On the plus side, he sure does know how to make a mean cup of coffee.
Typing up notes at the bar and doing shots with the bartender until close on a Wednesday. This is what my second year of law school has become.
So how exactly do I backtrack from motorboating and ass grabbing?
Ok, they now been on the roof for two days. I can see 4 cases of teecate and a carton of smokes. They are yelling at "fucking fall" and pissing off the roof.
If I just skip sleeping, does hangover still happen? Gonna try it. Will report back. StTAND BY
he showed me his third nipple on the first date. I might have low to no standards, but my god.
At one point I was counting his nipple hairs to calm myself down.
there is such a gross feeling of satisfaction when the married guy i used to hook up with likes my facebook status.
Randomize