people will do anything to get on MTV. like get pregnant.
there is a homeless man oan crack poledancing on a fence... now hes humping it...
So how gross is it that Woopie Goldberg has a vagina? She's like the exact opposite of a boner....
He spent the whole night convincing me I wasn't fat, but after we had sex he said "Oh, I see what you mean"
Dude you made a rodeo shot in beer pong won the game then got in the hot tub poured beer all over the side and screamed "hot tub time machine!"...
This hangover makes more sense now
she said she walked into the kitchen and i was sitting ass naked on the floor chugging her parents vodka.
I just googled, "how to do boob makeup" thats the kind of night I wanna have.
Your vase full of piss was still at his house and he still doesn't know.
He made me brush his hair afterwards because it made him feel like a ken Barbie.
God I hope the sex was good.
Maybe if he'd step up his game and get a real job instead of donating plasma and trying to grow pot then you wouldn't feel compelled to write prisoners in Oregon.
I barfed on the cat last night. Just wanted to share.
I felt like I crashed a wedding. Everyone was dressed so nice and I was covered in actual dirt and a little blood.
i almost got into an argument defending my life choices with a guinea pig eating chocolate cake at 4am
Omg I got up from his bed and almost did a header into the wall because I came so many times I forgot how to walk.
so i went to the bathroom and my thong was on sideways... i guess that solves the mystery
Randomize
