I like how she turned her beer into a wet t-shirt contest
i'm watching degrassi (go figure) and the episode is about jimmy not being able to get a boner and now he's famous and rapping about popping pussies..i dont get it.
there were more penises there than on chat roulette
and honestly a story about how you met your future husband that DOESN'T include the words "creeped him on facebook" is really not a story worth sharing
Second wave of rafting ended in a concussion. Don't worry though, the paramedic says it's still not considered a DUI.
Come to me. Jacob is confessing his love and all I want is a hot dog. With chili. Not love.
I tried to sit on a barstool last night...it was an open trashcan.
okay the fridge is completely filled only with alcohol. Not even exaggerating. There is no food.
Sometimes I wonder if we're going to make it to 40.
i know. like I have the nerve to talk about poverty. I eat peanut butter out of the jar.
I like to feed my guinea pigs before I get stoned. In case they get contact high and get the munchies. It's only polite.
I mean with a sentence like that I knew I would be cumming
I just drove my booty call to his booty call, if that isn't spreading the love, I don't know what is.
I'll never lecture you, go get that dick baby girl make momma proud,I didn't raise no quitter
It's becoming clear to me that I am not sugar baby material. I don't think I could handle old balls long term.
You were filing your nipples with a nail file to "make them sharper"
Randomize
