Picture the opening band right now: euro, beer guts, one member in oversized hipster lumberjack apparel, the other in childsized american apparel and shorts. Singing in german.
Its like we are women, and boise state is a gangster rap song. This game is degrading
taking shots each time the weatherman says Dont go out in this blizzard
he just came in and straightened the chair and left again
Lots of rum and cokes. Bartender wore my underwear on his head. Lost my keys. Accidentily started a fight. DC is going to kill me
Sorry the STD update turned into an attempt at a bootycall, but at least we both know we're clean now
Im so excited to get permanently banned for life from all the old bars again, it is gonna be christmas after all
Only he would come to a strip club and talk about an internship with Walt Disney during a lap dance.
That money I left you should go to the stripper that fell asleep in your bed. Sorry
Come to find out, there is a place where binge drinking and aggressive head butting is completely appropriate. In a mosh pit, Travis is just a regular dude!
I think I used my NERF gun during sexual roleplay. Need to re-evaluate my life choices.
Thanks for the bagel and the sex.
Cause I know you wanna ride the D like a Vespa in ROMAN HOLIDAY
I just borrowed porn from my middle aged mother. This is what desperate looks like.
Had phone sex with my boss who I still haven’t seen in person. How’s your Monday ?
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