I just saw the girl you left with - Chris Hansen's looking for you
Most awkward sex ever...
And im texting you in the middle.
Tonight was fucked up. First my mom called me and told me I had to go to the bar to pick up my dad 'cause he was drunk. Then when I got there my dad was doing a body shot from this lady who happened to be my 1st grade teacher. By far the most awkward car ride home. Idk if I should tell my mom or not.
I thought she was mad at me, but then we did a pose off and I realized we're friends for life
Just threw up in a trash can by the ATM. Then pulled out money for weed.
I'm not saying we can't have sex tonight, I'm just saying we have to work it around Lost.
Yeah I'm about to go down a waterslide that comes out a 2nd story window. I love college.
We need to get her a baby shower present. And no, a blow up sex doll with her dead boyfriends picture stuck to it, is not appropriate.
Traded my phone for pizza, then got it back this morning....successful night
Medically YOU CAN'T BE AN ALCOHOLIC TILL 25!!!!! WE GET 3 BONUS YEARS!!!!
I need to have some sort of hot sex experience in a mask.
No if my life depended on you fingering me just let me die
my binge eating and her being stoned all the time has reduced us to a bowl of chinese candies, frozen bacon and a stick of butter, we do however have enough alcohol to start our own liquor store.
those kids just got delivered to the party by the pizza guy
the last thing I remember is taking a pull of ever clear and chasing it with vodka
Randomize
