the red, white, and blue power rangers were all also in the porn buisness, good bye childhood
like why cant he just admit that he still wants to fuck me even though im underage
In case you were wondering, taking me to see beauty and the beast in theaters would totally get you an unsolicited sloppy beej in the parking lot afterwards.
You should probably take note of that and make it happen.
Would it be a good deed to leave a 32 pack of bud light next to a bum sleeping in the park?
Needs to be more caveman. "Me kill roommate. You watch. Then sex time with our genitals."
i told him I'd let him eat part of a weed cookie out of my cleavage, so he pulled over like a gentleman.
Drunkenly tried to auction off Merik's pancakes at Ihop. Apparently I make a great auctioneer. Also, no one wants 30 cent pancakes.
Woke up this morning with an extra $35 and someone else's ATM receipt. How much did I drink last night?
And then he said, "let's have sex and I'll send you home with enchiladas."
I need to wake up with a beard between my thighs more often, I'm a fucking saint.
FYI the blow job was for papa johns pizza
I regret 8000% nothing
Maybe snorting K off penises isn't healthy
Bro you were on fire last night...like a less Irish version of Liam Neeson
All i remember from last night was that i was sitting on the toilet for a good hour eating a philly cheesesteak hotpocket... then i woke up... in my bed.
Are we at that level of friendship where we can share slutty stories and not hold it against the other person at a later date ?
Randomize
