Being 21 is my favorite hobby I'm really good at it
you kept shouting how the only tree you would hump is an elm tree because they're under populated
I think a used vibrator from amazon.com is a great valentines day gift foe my ex.
After they flagged you, you hid in a bathroom stall and text me to bring you more shots. That kind of drunk.
Well, thats the first guy to go to jail because of my vagina
Post that event on your timeline
Rick two cubicles down puked and that triggered three others puking into their trash cans as well. The janitorial staff hates it when we go drinking on a work night.
Spent fifteen minutes in the car thinking i was psychic before i realized the cd was not on shuffle
hey dude my crackhead idol just taught me a great way to tie shoes
Nope. I've found you care about two things in life: your momma and spreading your seed.
Before consuming her Waffle House she did a few deep breaths and cleared the table to "prepare herself for this"
There's no such thing as shame in your world, is there?
The true debate: do I prioritize going to bed and getting more than six hours of sleep or do I prioritize washing out various grease, leaf bits, and jizz out of my hair
I will take a ruler to your dick so help me god
Why do my weekends always degenerate into using my little brothers childrens board games for drinking games?
And despite my lack of successful relationships I'm a fucking guru
That's like claiming you're a good coach but going 2-12 last season
Randomize
