she looks like someone took a bunch of spare parts and glued them all on one face. it's quite horrifying.
I just saw a woman point to her daughter and scream at her husband THIS IS YOUR GENES, THIS IS YOU.
Yes, I am watching The Hills Have Thighs. And yes it is a porno remake of The Hills Have Eyes. And, again, yes, lesbian sex in the desert. Get the sand out.
Either he was jacking off or having a seizure next to me in bed. Either way, I was too lazy to help.
Did you not learn anything for "HERPES SCARE 2010".........
This would be a good time for the don't get drunk and bang a married chick pep talk...
You insisted we put glow sticks on you so that we didn't lose you if you went pee in the dark.
bah. we'll see. don't give yourself a boner of false hope.
High enough to ask the woman at best buy if she ever feels like she's swimming. and telling the man outside that he smells like happy juice.
I punched some guy in the face for being an asshole then later I went to say sorry and give him a hug and he started making out with me. How was your new years?
You always seem to be able to bribe me with tequila and Mac and cheese. This relationship of ours will cause me health problems someday.
I wanna send them a card but I don't think hallmark makes a "sorry your fiance and another girl blew me at the same time in a frat house but congrats!" card
If you bet guys that you can drink them under the table they will pay for your drinks all night until they pass out. I have this down to a science that I think even my dad would appreciate.
lol show me an arrest record and I'll drop my panties
I mean, I want you to have freaky orgasmic fun to entertain me, but I don’t want you to risk HIV or car crashes
Randomize
