let's makeout let's makeout let's make out let's make out
i didnt mean to paint the dog... it just kinda happened
After the tests come back negative, you guys will look back on this evening with fond memories...
He had rug burn on his nose from my landing strip
did you seriously make the punch out of vodka and food coloring
I just found a thank you note I apparently wrote to my bed last night for letting me borrow the comforter.
I have a gash on my leg an a lobster leg in my purse.
I guess? According to Jeff his mom is wondering when the grand babies will arrive. So I don't think they like ME so much as my supposed functioning uterus
Being with her was like shitty sexual fear factor big ass sausage nipples over sized outty belly button i was scared and drunk tell know one
He hasn't responded in 6 hours and the last thing he sent me was a picture of 7 grams of coke. I'm getting kinda worried
I had the most traumatic dream I've ever had just now. I ripped my dick off because a girl asked me to and spent the rest of the dream crying about my dick
I just fell off a roof. So I'm kinda chillin for a minute.
Woohoo! Instead of a pregnancy test you can buy me a burrito
I'm not trying to analyze you I'm just saying you are being unfair to soup
Change of plans & whoring it up tonight
Randomize
