I've decided that I only have enough money to either eat or drink over the next month. I'm sure you know what choice I've made.
my vag is singing 'hurts so good' by john mellencamp
my facebook is like a giant collection of my one night stands
Just got Netflix. Dexter Marathon. Still in my PJ's. Only eaten cookie dough and drinking a 40. I have never reeked so strongly of lonely .
Couldn't see or hear that well because she hit me on the back of the head with a bat. That is my excuse. Also the gin.
Picture this: me driving down 183 throwing up into a towel. I just hit rock bottom.
The last thing I remember was paying off her younger brother not to judge me, then puking on his shoes.
Well on a lighter note, I had sex in a food truck.
Apparently hitting a bong with your mouth half numb is hilarious but frustrating!
We had sex on a dog bed..
I just used my vibrator to scratch my back. This being single shit is for the birds
I have one goal now that I am in the USA. To find a man I can fuck into marriage before my visa runs out.
So, I actually said the words "but face tattoos are sexy"
He serenaded me say anything-style with Weird Al songs and then blew me on the beach. I'd say he's a keeper.
The covid immunization shot lady also sold me a mondo bag of really good pot.
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