it hurts more in the daytime
I woke up with semen in my invisalign. My molars were just marinating in it
Day two of taking my adderall. I just organized the pantry and alphabetized my dvds. I've missed my mind on drugs
He probably smells like baby powder and sexual identity crisis.
So, since you're now a four night stand, I feel comfortable asking: Did I leave my sunglasses at your house? Or my underwear?
Dude. The only thing that I use less than my dick is my tennis racket. We need to play.
I just ran into mom and dad day drinking at the bar while I skipped class and was day drinking at the same bar.
I wish my bank account would intervene on my life choices.. $200+ in alcohol in 2 weeks and a $40 McDonald's bill is a cry for help.
There is not enough whiskey in the world to get me through what happened on Pretty Little Liars tonight.
First world problems.
somehow a ride to walgreens turned into a threesome.
He said his parents were apparently coming over to surprise him with breakfast and I’ve never gotten dressed and run out of the door that quickly. I have commitment issues.
Cheyanne in woods. Ducks attacked. My toe is bleeding. We are gpsing our way home on foot. No worries
Were not even through the second month of the year and I potentially may have torpedoed a marriage...
last night you said that you wanted to hold my dick as you slept because it was like having a stuffed animal.
I didn't mean that as an expression. I'm literally asking if you want to watch Netflix and do nothing.
Randomize
