O no, u 2 are dating again?
No. I just masturbate furiously to his picture
you told everyone your name was brenda and you had the whole party chanting b-dawgg by the end of the night. successful.
Hangovers were designed by God when he decided that so far he had taken it WAY TOO EASY on me.
love being home for thanksgiving just had grandma pick me up from the frat by her house
I want to hold her baby but I'm afraid I'll give it a contact buzz
Im pretty sure you told the waiter at Dennys last night to take your pants off or show a nipple.
How are ur friends?
One is peeing in the grass and the other is asleep under the stairs. Fuck them I'm sleeping in the car
I feel like our relationship should have moved on from you constantly asking if I'm gay
Nothing says "welcome to Denver" like a hot 18 year old giving you directions to the dispensary and ending up blowing you in the backseat
Chicks, chicks everywhere, and not a drop to drink. Dude, when did real life lesbians get HOT?
Haha ohman remember when I peed in your blender? Gotta love college.
YOU DID WHAT???
I fucked him while wearing his hat. I love the navy
You said "this is only my eighth drink" with like 6 separate drinks
I just said "you do you" to my penis.
I am not walking across campus just to give you a blow job in the hopes that in return i can study more efficiently.
Randomize
