can you come get me and bring me shorts and a shirt
maybe shoes and water too
oh and maybe a noose to hang myself
we should wear snuggies to the strip club
You get to witness red pubes. I'm almost jealous. That's like my dream.
i found her half dressed with her feet in the washer..she said it was sooo warm.
I will not ride trays down a flight of stairs topless and drunk....
Why didn't I see you last night!?
We made out like 4 times....I think I saw you.
No, I know her type. Tall, lanky, uses teeth when giving head, and runs like a giraffe. Don't do it man..
I told him if he ever gets a "wink" text from me after 10:00pm to assume I really mean "we should be hooking up by 2:30am"
As yoda would say; A bitch, she is.
this case of pbr just wont end. i keep finding more.
The fact that he offered to stop once he stuck it in my ass was sadly the most considerate thing anybody's ever done for me.
Idk I'm sorry it's weird to ask for testimonials on your penis
Oh my fucking god that cat looks just like you after you accidentally took Ketamine
It's taking every bit of my restraint not to go to the store and buy chips and cake and like steal someone's dog. PMS is so weird.
I asked for a cup of water. They gave me tequila. They WANT ME TO DIE
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