i think im having one of those erections lasting four or more hours
Googled "can you put dry ice in your drink?" I'm safee
he refused to get me toilet paper before we started drinking so I keep wiping with his towel.
dude, I just walked in on your little brother changing clothes...I'm ashamed to say I noticed, but that kid has as MASSIVE cock...
Yeah...we all know. it's the elephant in the room at family gatherings.
that is a frighteningly accurate metaphor for it.
i dont understand why you dont get why i love him. i opened the bathroom door and he had his penis in his right hand and a mcdouble in his left.
They got their marriage license when they were at the courthouse for her arraignment.
Is there really anything more beautiful than opening a fresh box of wine on a Friday afternoon?
Also his beard was very delicious looking. I wanted to touch it so bad, but I held back.
the only two hours i was sober on this trip and i managed to break my toe. no one will believe this.
I told her I wanted to use him as a chew toy while simultaneously licking his face.
Did she tell him? And if so, was he cool with it? If yes, date him, date the fuck outta him.
All the party invite said was a date and "21 to drink, 18ish to sleep over"
Stop your judging. I got free booze AND an oil change. You're the one whose always saying we're spending too much money.
She fell off the bed and giggled until she passed out naked. It was really weird.
Probably not gonna date her.
you know its getting late when the "nevers" are turning into "maybe"
high I am. I am yoda. Yoda I am
Randomize
