So #1 way to come back last night and #2 wishbone and I broke into his house and i opened joey's door and u were both passed out and pantless.
Midnight walks are trippy
I tried to do that earlier, but I was alone and scared, so I stole a happy Birthday balloon.
Omg. Budweiser tramp-stamp sighting @ Wal-mart. Best tattoo EVAR.
you proceeded to suck on ur pinkie saying it reminded you of chris and you wanted him badly
Do you know how hard it is to conceal the fact that you puked all over the bed that someone is sleeping in?
Wow anytime a scalper has i need tix written on the back of a franzia box thats a trusted seller
he is literally lying on the floor eating cookies. doing nothing. and as i was hitting him he needed to protect the cookies more than himself.
He tried to say "god bless your heart" to the stripper but it came out "god bless your pussy"
yeah...i noticed he pets people when he's drunk. It's odd.
I drunkenly asked a stripper to join our volleyball team.
So much beer in the passenger seat the seatbelt light is blinking
Also I owe you 20 bucks, a clean towel and a glass of scotch. I'll even throw in a blow job
The last thing I remember from that party was me shouting "hold my feet I'm going in strapped like Rambo"
I went to the bar without a bra on pretty sure you can go to Taco Bell drive thru with no pants
so I may or may not have had intense sex to mozart's greatest hits on vinyl... I don't know if I should be proud or just really disappointed in my nerdness
Randomize