there should be a rule- if you jizz on it, you wash it
dude.. you lit a cigarette on the bus and told the driver it was okay because you were fire marshall of your boy scout troop
relax...and go to your happy place, which probably has a lot of dicks
I call it my summer of slut; except summer lasts from May until December. It's been incredibly successful
Pre-drinking/conditioning my liver for this impending hurricane party associated with cat. 2 hurricane Irene. Be ready to roll in a weather channel minute.
come onnn, where's your sense of adventure?!
I left it in that guy's dorm room.
He showed up in a dinosaur costume bearing a tray of cupcakes. He even let me hold his tail. I'm marrying this guy.
Dude, did you really "knight me" and tell me I had permission to bang your sister last night?
i dont know whats weirder. that i told him he stabbed me in my dream or that he told me i wasnt the first girl to tell him theyve been killed by him in a dream
My gut feeling that we had reached a new level of intimacy last night was confirmed early this morning when you sleep farted on penis.
The crooked penis I maybe could have looked past...but no foreplay? Deal breaker.
I think my penis runs off weed. I haven't smoked it 3 days and I have no sex drive what so ever
Just wiped the ashes off my forehead before he came over to have sex. Definitely going to hell.
So she said she could really go for a cheeseburger and I remembered I had one in my pocket. No idea where it came from.
Do you remember trying to eat the shower curtain last night...?
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