dont worry your back hair reminds me of angel wings
After they won there was a guy outside Magee Hospital yelling "name your kid Sidney"... that guy may or may not have been me.
isnt it creepy that our bodies make people
woke up rolled in a yoga mat listening to enya. I'm never going back to Oregon ever again.
so the good news is that i can't possibly burn my eyelashes off tonight at the bbq.
Roommate is eating a chimichanga, watching Dr Doolittle 2 and weeping. His Tuesday hangovers make me feel better about my life.
Dude found out there's an open bar at the celebration of life thing for my grandma which is at noon. Now I know why I can drink so much
I've decided that my night was probably over when I started eating the penne vodka with my hands.
how many dildos make it a "collection?"
Just made a drunk dude do 20 push-ups. In the parking lot of the bar tonight for a keystone light I found in the back of my truck.
Oh yum
So I've been thinking about this, and I've decided my bed is magic. Every time I change the sheets, a new boy is in my bed. I own the Sheets of Dreams-if I change them, they will come.
our next stoner-chievment: cream of shroom soup. Get over here, this is happening!
I just put vagisil on my bug bites how do you think my morning is going
Our lives are a motherfucking joke
I'm to the point where I just want to get back at him in a hot man sex tornado way.
Randomize
