making cat noises will not fix the situation.
get home. someone threw up in the fishtank last night.
They peed on our pledges last night... i dont know if i should put an lol at the end of that or not
Just made my alarm the Lion King song. Too excited about waking up to sleep.
I drank mimosas and played bocce ball in the middle of finals week...now i know how Comm majors feel all the time.
i've never smoked before...when you said wake and bake i thought you meant like a funeral bbq or something
It involved homemade coconut rum, a waterfall, and street signs. I'll leave the rest to your capable imagination.
i just saw the eighteen different ways i could die and only after that did i realize i'd made a poor decision
I'm so disappointed in myself I can actually taste it.
Does it taste like semen?
You know it's a good Halloween party when a guy wearing a light-up sombrero offers you blow.
Now I can't say for certain but I'm 90 percent are I bathed myself with dog shampoo last night
So unmotivated today.
Who am I kidding. So unmotivated this decade.
Random question, what's John-that-we-had-a-threesome-with's phone number? Don't necessarily need the full number, maybe just area code? Think I drunkenly ran into him last night and now I have texts from a John.
I'm stuck on a cliff. I'm not sure how I got here or how to get down. Please send help. And clothes.
I managed to convince her that the egg yolks were actually orange juice and she fell for it
Randomize
