chicago's viagra triangle is not unlike the bermuda triangle in thatt things just get lost...... planes, ships, dignity, virginity, etc.
'fingered' and 'feelings' NEVER belong in the same sentence.
When you wake up, I have rum and am in town
my dad just walked in on my jacking off and all he had to say was "I thought you were bigger than that".... thanks dad.
so literally, as soon as i tripped and fell and hit the floor the earthquake started. hows THAT for a self esteem boost?
If you're still awake, how rude would it be if I masturbated in her new apartment on moving day? If you're asleep, then ask me how it was.
there's a liquor store near my therapist
i might give it a shot.
He tied me to the bed, fucked me and left me tied up until he proved to his room mates that he actually fucked me. But other than that, best sex ever!
We see some guy emerge from the forest on the island this morning, alone, in only a snuggie. Morning shots and bagels on us for the number one walk of shame.
I'd marry him just to keep his penis in the country
So... I may have accidentally just sat on a strip of a home waxing kit.. naked... Assistance is definitely needed....
She wore her engagement ring the whole time we fucked. I hate her fiancee, so it was cool
I swear to fucking god if he takes away netflix I will have no problem sending his gf our sex videos
I had to fake it. He was punching my vagina like it owed him money and enough was enough.
I wasn't going to drink tonight, but was reminded this is the anniversary of prohibition being repealed. If I don't, then I am against my profession of bartending and anti-American, right?
Randomize