After he proceded to violently molest my tits until 9 am i snuck out of his room only to meet his mother downstairs, who informed me she heard the giant sexfest going on in the room next to them.. this was before she called us both "chickenshits".. worst walk of shame ever.
Pete just told the whole party I'm a squirter
When we ran out of red solo cups we switched to Starbucks cups for beer pong... Who doesn't want to live in Seattle?
we turned studying into a drinking game, she drinks when she gets it right, i drink when she gets it wrong. so we'll be out soon
A lesson I learned in the hospital....when you masturbate while attached to a heart monitor, it scares the nurses a lot.
Shit. Come in my room. Bring a trashcan and an icepack
He took naked pictures of me and told me if I ever got to the Disney Channel level of fame he would help me out. I think i'm in love
I totally need to blow more fat guys. His cum tasted like vanilla ice cream
So not the biggest tits he had his cock between. He could have lied.
Son of a bitch took my liquid eyeliner
You asked to borrow my glasses for a moment. Then you whipped them at someone's head.
MY LIFE IS A TRAINWRECK THATS ON FIRE BUT SOMEHOW STILL MOVING, I HAVE THE RIGHT TO SCREAM OUTSIDE AT 2AM
Im just drunk enough to admit that I miss Hannah Montana.
His face will be in my vagina later so I'm willing to forgive.
Im not as flexible as I once was, but I still managed to get eaten out in the front seat of a hummer behind keddies.
Randomize
