If I go to jail what happens to my debt?
You dont have to pay it.
I'm going to jail.
my professor just told me i smelt like a brewery infront of my whole class b4 my final presentation
it's like god just wants me to be high for five days in a row. keep the blizzards coming.
It's going to be nice going to the airport without drugs taped to my balls like last year.
he keeps trying to sext me and all I can do is respond with descriptions of what im eating.
dude when im high using logic is an accomplishment that should be rewarded. make sure u get cinnamon twists
May the one with the liver that just won't quit win
Brandon just showed up at my place with a florida state cheerleader he met in vegas durin spring break. His life is a fucking movie
Just fat and dog and sweat all over the bed. All night long.
Business idea: assless chaps for toddlers. I'm high.
We just fucked each other sober. #goteam
Fuck you i've put so many pretzels in her shirt
It's time you knew: I have been dating your probation officer for 7 months. Pretty certain he's THE ONE. So, thanks for being a criminal.
We need to get walkie talkies for when we're drunk so if we are at different parties or lost we can talk
It's like a donut of clothes around a pair of heels. Like they were transported to another dimension naked.
Randomize
