I need to start cutting my cocaine with Plan B
I just called a child with a Yankees jersey a jerkoff. so much for a friendly day @ the ballpark
Yeah, the furnace guy just pulled out 4 empty and 1 full beer bottle from the vent. You are no longer allowed over.
Set off the fire alarm in our dorm at 2:30 am last night. 150 Naked people wrapped in towels shared a bag of popcorn with me as we watched the firefighters frantically search for my burnt popcorn in the building.
OMG THAT WAS YOU?!
Just found a wrench in the washing machine. Sooo not doing your laundry anymore.
Dude squirt doesnt even begin to describe it i thought she was the lost portal to atlantis with how much she let out
If it makes you feel any better, karma just served me up a big dose of fuck you.
He wrote me poetry. 12 hours after getting my number
You showed your tits for hundreds of beads but magically became shy when there was food on the line
All I want to do is shower, but there is a keg in there.
We had to go. She called the bartender a thundercunt.
I'm sure nobody at Walmart was wondering why I was wearing a glittery tutu and needed $300 changed into small bills
but I'm still not sure how you became more and more fluent in Spanish the drunker you got
anyone can pick a bar fight and pick up a waitress at a bar, not everyone hangout with two wolves. TWO WOLVES.
I shaved my balls for you. Do you have any idea how hard that is?
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