You know your in college when you use the receipt from the liquor store as a bookmark
How did you get the entire couch up on it's side and into the bathroom?
Please tell me that's his leg and you didn't really just send me a picture of your dog's dick
She was literally passed out in a cubicle with a flask in her hand. I LOVE finals week!
It'd be a romantic, consensual abduction
To be honest i'm almost glad he got arrested. His girlfriend and i kept making out so i'm pretty sure the alternative was a threesome. Now we're just the trashy girls who visit him in jail.
Well who could blame her. I would run away from me if I could.
Fuck. I have to get my shit together by lunch. Mission impossible.
So I just stirred my shower drink with my razor.
I'm not going to ask which end you used.
Ok thats it i need a list. Full names, nicknames, in which frats, with a photo, of all the guys youve hooked up with because three of the same guys is ridiculous
They put me in room 420 every time and I take bubble baths and smoke in the room and they bring food TO MY BED
You'll be happy to know that the bruise is gone from my cock
I was in the rappers prayer circle. Then they're blunt circle
Yeah well, last time I said I wasn't having a big night I was being strangled in somebody's spare bed
can you tell me why i woke up in a diaper and combat boots?
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