I just cut my nipple shaving
I like complaining with weaving words and complex sentences. It makes me seem more sophisticated and less bitchy.
I dont think yelling "Grab your dicks, time for pics!" helped your case either.
Not going out tonight. And so the 25 day drinking streak ends....
Theres was an instant understanding between us being drunk on the trampoline at four in the morning and the people walking down the road at the same time
The second I saw you stumbling down the stairs in a princess crown, I knew I had a friend for life.
Saturday at 4 is jello wrestling sponsored by the senior class council. That's why my school is awesome. Boom.
So we get back to the hotel room and Tom strips off his clothes... His first sexual act as my fiance? Helicopter dick. I gave him a high five.
Ecstasy body chair massage shower sex fest this week?
he just looked at me, said "i think i'll keep you around, you put the seat back up and everything," and then burst into tears.
You'd be proud! I didn't lose my id this time... It got confiscated
Most people would probably take his lack of responses as a queue to stop. But nope, not me. I just keep going. And that's why I don't have a bf, just a little weinered friend
Less than a month to graduation and I'm still blacking out on the reg tonguing down the closest breathing organism preferably with a penis but I'm flexible, and still havent figured out how to be functional on Fridays. WHY don't they teach us valuable shit at this institution!?
Powdered alcohol is a real thing now. Move over crystal light... Water bottles rejoice!!
Chipotle farts are not good for seducing boys.
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