Why can't I find a man that likes bush instead of a vagina that looks like it belongs to a prepubescent child!
Because men are children
Touche
We just picked up about 540 lbs of women....
He came up there while i was bartending, ate a salad, told me he wanted to divorce me, then tipped me 10 dollars....
Tell me you remember me getting a tampon from the girl throwing up in the next stall
We just for robbed for the second time. I believe the only thing I have left to my name is my $75 dildo
He's like a perfect storm of amazing hair and horrible judgment.
I mean I drunk but not enough to handle a Scientology convention
We found you naked curled up in a ball in the closet, using a gorilla suit as a blanket
michael burned off one of his eyebrows making a pizza so he had to shave off the other one to make it look even. it doesn't look right, but I'd still bang him.
orgasmnado...tomorrow night
That's what I'm talking about
We were at dinner and dad asked me to pass the salt and I suddenly remembered doing body shots when I was blacked out last weekend.
I m a li title tea p or short and sto u. T.... Here is my haaandley
C ANGT CATCH NE IM THE GIBNGER BREAS MAB
drunk me cartwheeled over a turtle sandbox & slit my foot open on a cinder block. how do you explain that to a doctor?
I like that you're more concerned about how I would find the time to clone you, than the fact that I have your blood.
We need a signal or code word for "I basically shaved my whole body and we should touch each other tonight".
Randomize
