I don't think ill make it tonight the floor wont let me walk
Latenightwjoannablackberrywontletmespaceitknowsimdrunk
we were spooning and you were the big spoon but you insisted that I call you "the ladle"
ra ra ra ah ah
wtf?
sexting lady gaga style
I don't care if its bassically 3rd world. A country without a drinking age is a country without a drinking age.
That's like rubbing a penis in my face and not giving it to me.
she played "i just wanna get married" by jagged edge while we were having sex. why cant i avoid stage 5 clingers
I opened up my wallet and it was filled with puke.
Let's learn from last year: Leave the handcuffs at home on St Patrick's Day.
Ps there is nothing more humbling in the world than havin to watch cheaper by the dozen on the waiting room tv while getting the morning after pill at the drs. Nothing
I did what any insensitive guy would do bought her friends shots and tried to fuck them
The worst thing about him living around the corner is that who ever suggests the booty call is the one that walks over.
I'm in your room because it's a safe space. Is it ok to pee in here?
You were just laying there on the air mattress watching spongebob with a knife. We tried to take it from you, but you insisted it was your emergency escape in case you started to float off.
Bud light made chelada as a breakfast for those of us with class at 8 am
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