Dood you jacked it to warcraft. you can't come back from something like that
Oh no it's bring yor chld to work day...I'm too drunk for this
I'm not saying going to the volleyball games drunk on Tuesday night was a bad idea I'm just saying we shouldn't make a routine of it.
It was a two-sided wall so part of my body ended up in someone elses condo.
Your doorknob is in my back seat, in case you were looking for it.
That's unfortunate. Distance can be a stoner's greatest enemy.
You make it sound like a battle for Middle Earth.
I'm in a pile of cheezits at an unfamiliar location watching dateline on tlc. Stage an intervention.
remember when I told you about my grandma asking me about my sex scars? Less comfortable than that
I feel like the way dolphins mate would be the approach that a guy would have to use in order for you to sleep with them
I haven't filled him in on Operation "find a sugar daddy & suck dick for money" yet, but I'm sure he just wants me to be happy.
She's currently doing somersaults across the kitchen floor without underwear on. We may not make it to the bar.
Sorry I yelled at you and called you Amish and puked on your eggs
I puked on her cat, I think I should at least buy her breakfast
Just let me put on a bra and brush the alcohol out of my hair.
Im sober enough to understand what people are saying but drunk enough to understand its hilarious
Randomize
