I just put out an orange level terrorist threat on her punani
I just hatefucked a Bush administration appointee. Now having celebratory mimosas.
he fingered my asshole thinking it was my vag...I couldn't bring myself to tell him, mostly from shame for me and pity for him
The second he texted me with "*dry humps you!*" I knew any relationship we might have had was over.
I know I'm all grown up when I don't have to take my pregnancy test in the store bathroom anymore.
they're mlb prospects.. of course i'm gonna bang one of them.
apparently i was just sitting there with my shirt down holding my boobs saying "its ok. its all gonna be ok"
I maybe just had sex outside in broad daylight. At a state park. Please be proud.
I don't know what you're talking about but its dick galore in the tub. We will be getting poked tonight. Bring forks.
It was horrifying, i havent seen a girls mouth open that wide since that one episode of Goosebumps..
The name of the man in your bed is not Ryan. I can't remember what his name is but that is wrong
It's not above me to sleep with him solely for his authentic budweiser shirt
She's licking the vodka she spilled off the desk
Aaaaand now she's drinking it out of the shot glass like a cat
Remember, today is also the anniversary of Harambe's death. D**** out.
Woke up with a bed full of sand...care to explain?
Isnt is self explanatory?
Randomize
