I think the sex offender registry is kind of a VIP list. You get to not live near noisy schools and parks and all your neighbors get to know you.
Her tattoo has the intellectual profundity of snakes on a plane except you can't laugh.
It's always a surprise to see what songs I shazamed and downloaded last night while we were drunk at the bar.
You're surprisingly coherent for someone who thinks her couch is breathing.
"Students using Axe body spray to light selves on fire" is a real headline from a real newspaper. WHY AREN'T WE DOING THIS RIGHT NOW?
I literally saw him try to open a beer can with his anus. We need o step up our game.
Also they do not have any come back to america, i miss my fuck buddy cards at Hallmark.
I asked the full emergency room who else was there because of homecoming and every single person raised their hand
I woke up to find a bottle of Bacardi in my shower rack. How was your night?
I probably won't go. Last time I got drunk with those guys I just started demanding people let me touch their beards.Then I mocked everyone who didn't have facial hair.
Drunk you decided to patrol campus as the Arrow and tell random bystanders "YOU HAVE FAILED THIS CAMPUS." Campus P.D. did not join your crusade.
That explains the nerd bow & arrow...
Dude I used amphetamines responsibly today though. I snorted one in the am for work and then chewed one in the pm for other work. I'm an adult.
She's just a lonely cunt and i hope she stays that way for the rest of her fucking life.
This seems like an over reaction to someone eating your fries.
I just got a snapchat of a flaccid penis with the caption "happy belated valentine's day." What did I do to deserve this
she squeaked mid orgaism. I laughed she cried
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