i'm sending her a home depot gift card for the hole i put in her wall. call it good?
She acts like you when your on meds
She acts like batman?
do you ever think like no deep thought could take place in the spanish language? like all they talk about is like tacos?
how high are you?
No more Irish car bombs ever.
I found it funny that her boobs actually kinda felt like a bag of sand. the 40 year old virgin should feel better about himself.
btw i have an angry voicemail of you yelling at me to get you a sandwich or die.
I swear, if he gets me a bowling ball for Christmas, I will throw it at him.
She kept screaming "best case scenario"
If people don't want my drunken phone call then TAKE YOUR FUCKING NUMER OFF OF FACEBOOK, like it's just that easy...
I told my dad my stomach hurt and he bet me ten bucks I couldn't throw up on command. He has no idea what I did last night and I got ten bucks.
He is really real. Like I know where he works, have referenced him with mutual fb friends and I've seen his dick. He's real.
If throwing a bottle across the bar, hitting a skank in the head and not getting caught was an Olympic event, you'd bring merica the gold every time
Why am I sticky / covered in baby Tylonel?
His mom said he was in the ER and asked for prayers and positive thoughts. Apparently, me wishing the clap on him is not what she had in mind.
This is like a walk of shame down memory lane.
Randomize
