found an empty one..2nd door on the right...i'm already naked.
I was asking the bouncer, "if I fall will you catch me?" which then turned into "if I jump off the roof will you catch me?" He said no.
Was it a good night or a bad night when you have to apologize to someone the next day for trying to fuck them with a turtle?
he got kicked out of the bar for falling asleep on the mechanical bull.. then freaked on us cause we wouldnt go to the strip club with him
Check the bible. I hear he keeps his weed in leviticus.
I left my panties in the microwave for too long and they caught on fire
I've been continuously high for the last 48 hours, and just broke my 4th vibrator. Coincidence? FIND ME A MAN I BEG OF YOU.
UHG. i just want to have hot lesbian sex and eat pizza with you.
Why does everyone always assume I'm fucking their boyfriends?
You are fucking her boyfriend.
i'm eating chex mix in the shower while texting. i feel accomplished.
it was awkward when he was taking off my clothes and i had to help him undo my fanny pack
Still riding the magical train of drugs so, yeah, Id say I feel great
I wanted to make my beer stronger so I poured vodka in it. Why god....why
i'm trying not to stalk him on facebook
i gave in
Unless you want to see me masturbate, I think skype is a no go for now.
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