Just saw some guy walking down the street rapping about various types of pasta.
Literally 6000 elephants in my backyard.
No flights in Europe due to the volcano erupting. God himself is telling me to spend 4.20 in Amsterdam.
At the end of the night you handed the bartender a piece of paper with the word "VISA" written on it.
i left after you tried to balance a shot of tequila on your head while screaming at the bar tender that you fucked his girlfriend
He thought he was drowning because he was drinking water and intentionally holding his breath. Dear god what did you get me in to.
Oh and now he's calling me Brohammed Ali.
We left around 4am, just after you laid down on your front lawn to take a piss. After 15 mins I said "dude are you still peeing?" you replied "Nope, just laying here with my dick out."
Apparently getting dressed is an all-day activity.
Think I just subconsciously wanted a cigarette and started sleep walking to Carl's.. Didn't realize what I was doing until I found myself in an elevator.
Me too like the fact they didn't arrest me wants to send them an edible arrangement
Wow I got tittyfucked by the American Dream
I was so horny last night, I failed to let him know about my current bed bug infestation.
Don't worry my mom is buying me a vasectomy for Christmas
If catching your vomit in my hands while swimming in a bath tub full of it doesn't make us best friends, I don't know what will
I can't decide if I miss drinking or you, they are so closely connected.
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