we're taking shots every time my dog licks his penis. we're on number 8 now.
you should have been aborted.
My balls are so social today.
I'm at a party watching some dude try to eat a whole package of Oreos in 5 minutes.
He got drunk and insisted on licking my eyeball and called it a test of my trust in him.
You don't forget tits like those, even if you are vegas drunk.
Well I turned her sobriety into my own personal drinking game
Can you explain to me the broken disco ball in my front yard?
Just had a random flashback of you tickling some guy's nipple with your claw ring, and then him moaning and stripping in the middle of the bar. You give good memories.
You kept showing everyone at the bar your bra to prove it matched your shoes.
He ate me out on the kitchen floor while we waited for the cake to bake. How was your Valentines Day?
I cried singing "call me maybe" on the way home from the bar. What the fuck
I hope after we constantly bang for 2 days straight we can agree to be friends again
Even when you're down just know that I will always be the one to pour alcohol into your asshole when you're on probation
Remember that time i gave you head on MY birthday and you made me stop so you could watch the rhino part in 300
Tell me how you feel about belly buttons
Randomize
