I kinda knew it wasnt going to pan out when he would rather watch how i met your mother ON TIVO than fuck me......
the last thing i remember is you screaming lets hunt humans.
I feel like if I were on Intervention, I would have to be a season finale.
How do you get a 7 on a pregnancy test?
I started making my dollar bills into rings for the strippers
i dont care. it has been a 14 hour day, and we are all celebrating by alternating shots and grilled cheese.
We were fucking at break-dick speeds.
nobody understands how my tooth became embedded in the ceiling last night.
I think I'm too tall to 69 successfully.
I think I might cry.
I have an erection and I'm about to go through airport security.
I'm actually drinking gin and juice out of a floridas natural carton...so if that has any indication of how I'm doing
I have a rash on my arm from the cat litter. Think the cat will be mad that I peed in its box?
In the event that Ian's ex wife asks you, tell her I'm sweet snd innocent. No reason.
I woke up on a park bench with a nice homeless guy waking me up. I bought us Carl's Jr. Best birthday ever!
Etiquette question... How do you tell your mother that her nipple is out in her fb profile picture?
Randomize
