Erica just called me. She woke up in a storage closet in Mike's building with one shoe and no bag. Can you check your photos from last night to see if she had it at the bar?
I don't get calzones all look the same but taste so different
I'm pretty sure there's seven mailboxes in the bathtub...
Definitely just saw a grown man at wal mart wearing high heels and carrying a baby
What the fuck were you doing at wal mart?
I don't remember much but I remember it was a unanimous decision that Santa was indeed real and Cait's stripping somehow proved this.
We name dropped you at the liquor store and got a ten percent discount!
i'm sorry, but my penis isnt the solution to your problems
My roommate made me go home after I mooed at fat girls at the gas station.
The salesman looked at me like I was crazy when I explained the need for a headboard that had slats so I could handcuff people to it
Its... i dont even know. theres lots of rap music and i cant find my shoes
The bartender just hugged us goodnight. I think we go there too often.
Also the McRib is back. Lets get high, dress like cowboys, and eat some McRibs.
I'm mailing you cans of corn and that's final.
Dude she tried to bite my face off last night, literally. I have never actually felt like a piece of meat until that point in life...
I smell like heartbreak.
Tequila and sloppy rebound sex?
How did you know?
Randomize