i feel this outfit says i'm better than you, but i might give you a handjob behind a building
Is snow just God skeeting all over the place??
Yes. Yes it is.
He told me he's not in to anal. I need to marry him, ASAP.
I have blocked the memory from my mind. He is just a fuzzy cloud floating with my other bad decisions..
I feel like I knew it was fucked up, but feared that god would take my dick away if I didn't use it last night.
Disregard the shoes in the freezer.
I will give you all my nachos to make this happen
I wonder if a fish could survive in vodka
I could
Its like bringing all that milkshake to the yard and I'm a diabetic and can't have any
It was fine until they started lighting shots of everclear on fire and making ME take them. That's when shit went down...
I do NOT want to date a man who has no interest in going to a kangaroo farm
Also, do you think i could get away with finishing my vodka cranberry from last night at work if i put orange juice in it? Serious question.
are you listening to the theme from Jurassic Park whilst pooping?
Being drunk at Chick-fil-A is a dystopian experience
We should write a country song: “Blacked Out on a Sunday”
Randomize
