i need gas-x and some way to take back every single thing i did last night.
since when did accompanying a guy to a wedding mean that anal was required that night?
you made wolf sounds and yelled "team me" the entire movie
you used progresso chicken soup as a mixer last night
The night took a downhill turn when he started using a butter knife as a spoon to drink his cosmo
She gained 35 lbs and has an ankle bracelet, time for new booty call.
sorry for the naked aussie man in your room last night, he got lost on his way to the bathroom
She screams like she's just fallen out of a helicopter when she cums.
yolo... Doesn't that stand for 'shut the fuck up'?
Either I'm too drunk or she gave me a hand job to the rhythm of jingle bells.
I was talking to another guy at the bar last night and all of a sudden a flying piece of Sausage lands on my boobs. Then I hear my boyfriend yell, "just marking my territory."
How can other people our age be acting like adults when I'm still taking my birth control pill with left over gin and tonic from the night before?
Well ill be drunk so just come find me. Its like where in the world is Joey San Diego
I have to have sex on a bidet. I'm not sure what kind, but it's reason #4 for an Italian vacation!
So what happened at girls night? My roomate found me passed out locked out on the front steps of the house and it was raining. Yes low moment
Randomize
