Church boner. Awkwardddd
We just saw him running from campus police a few minutes ago. So no, I don't think he's still passed out on the quad.
I'm doing laundry in pjs and heels, home alone with my margarita bucket.
My New Years Resolution is to come up with a new resolution monthly. January: decrease my shotgunning consumption speed to 7 seconds or less.
I just woke up to pictures of every angle of his dick I'll ever need to see.
You three are like the Bermuda Triangle for morals.
Things got outta hand once she told me to water-board her with Patron.
I was tripping so hard I was disappointed when I pulled back the shower curtain and shrek wasn't standing there
I have family pictures in an hour and a half and I'm 9 beers deep. This is how I get written out of my grandparents will...
It's a whole movie about Joseph Gordon-Levitt watching porn and having sex... I NEED to own it..
They don't have a Valentines Day card for the married guy I'm sleeping with. It can't use the words, love, soulmate, you're the only one for me...and obviously it can't be anything related to spending the day together because that's not happening.
There's lube on my homework. #priorities
Did u guys seriously make a betting pool on when im going to get pregnant???
Yep, wanna bid?
He's smoked my weed, stolen my cigarettes, and used my campus cash, but I try to initiate sex and NOWWW he's all "As your RA, that's a line I can't cross"
Sitting across the table from one of my high school teachers who hasn't seen me since I was about 16 drinking a beer wearing a leotard
Randomize
