I have no idea what her name is. I only remember putting my dick between her ass cheeks.
Is it awkward that I've slept with every guy in this room?
Only if they know about it too.
96 perecent sure i just took a shower with socks
Im sure that doesnt mean its ruined... It was your bithday you get a free "im drunk at 7 am" card
There's nothing like vomiting in the restroom at work to remind you that you're not in college anymore.
I'm too tired to go all the way tonight, especially if you're going to quote Katy Perry at me during
Sorry really high. We have no lighter so we're lighting the bowl with rolled up paper towels lit by candle which also lit with a rolled up paper towel that we lit with the stove eye
after that, he'll be sure to remember me. i'll probably forget him, but that's the way it should be.
There's a really old guy here with a really young girl. I'm guessing he has to make choo choo train noises to get his dick in her mouth.
It's national "dress up your pet day" come over. Drugs and dressed up cats..it's the shit dreams are made of.
I think we can say happy hour is successful when you have frosting and southern comfort in your hair.
I want to start a guest book for my bed room so when dudes leave they can write a review
I’ve seen not one, but three Facebook articles on my feed today about “how to eat ass”. Idk what the universe is trying to tell me but it’s needs to chill
Are you telling me right now that the weed man sexted you?
THE WEED MAN SEXTED ME!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
I just baptized you in budweriser and you were cool with it
Randomize
