When I went to court, my judge's name was Honorable Ball. I couldn't stop laughing.
that probably didn't help your case.
Just walk-of-shame'd past fifteen little girls at summer camp. Take a good look girls, I am you in twelve years.
Two people in the coffee shop I'm at are on a date and talking about how acid has affected them and the girl just mentioned meth. Fuck studying, this just got interesting.
Apparently 'she used to sleep with my brother' is not an acceptable answer to how do you know each other.
He ended up walking out of his bedroom and told me to look at the nonexistent fire he was holding in his hand. Im upset I didn't take those shrooms.
I cried and ate like 6 tacos in the taco bell parking lot at almost midnight, sober, alone, listening to a demi lavato cd. And that was the good part.
College is a time for personal growth. Meaning it's time to start using those pickup lines on randos at dive bars.
Every time I think about it I can feel His toe in my mouth and I gag, I'm scarred for life.
She kept grabbing my head and told my faces to stop shaking.. Also, she kept whispering something about seeing flowers in my eyes.
Almost ran over girl selling candy bars for charity. Pretty much obligated to buy at that point.
Well I just found the most comfortable way to pass out on my toilet if I ever have to.
Its a good thing to know for upcoming events.
I feel like shit, and I can't get the band aids off my nipples.
I tried to trade my phone for pizza last night. I guess I had priorities last night
I just made the most “single life” Amazon order ever: protein bars and condoms.
I just shook glitter of my birth control packet so I’d say it’s safe to say it was a good weekend
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