Dude I wish you were here. I'm innthe back seat and it looks like outer space and everything feels like rice. idk. wtf.
I skipped work to stalk him.
Just bought a pack of cigs...gas station guy informed me i took off my underwear and tried to pop a squat by the milk last night...
Just opened a bottle with my rape whistle. At least it's finally getting used for something.
I am dressing up to go buy weed. I need to get out more.
i know and i thought i was only capable of loving dick and drugs, im so happy
I am alternating between eating dry cheerios and mint chocolate chip ice cream with a fork. Please love me because no one else will
When my mom found out he was a high school drop out she was like "seriously? Can we raise the bar a little higher next time kels?" So my moms pretty cool
I knew it was love when he told me he wants to see me have multiple orgasms in one night
That car ride home was pretty awkward. Your feeling up the girlfriend to the guy who's throwing up out the window. Thanks for that.
Two grav bong hits and a shower later and I'm ready for company
It's like you say things that speak to my soul on a deep personal level
Is there any chance of you maybe wanting a bouncy house at your wedding. Like maybe a .0001 chance. If so I would totally chip in for that.
I just thought I should tell you that I always know what you are doing. Everywhere. Every time. -Your loving Mother
It'd be good to change things up a bit, right now the only public service I'm doing from my apt is hanging out in my underwear with the lights on.
You’ll (maybe) appreciate that I picked at my ingrown hair again. Quarantine updates are getting BLEAK.
Randomize
