Third unemployed latin in my bed this week. I'm on a roll
My grandmother just explained bulimia to me as a diet
Just made a makeshift menthol by rolling a listerine strip into a regular cigarette... Poor? Who, me?
I mean, there was frosting being put on a tunafish sandwich. Pretty sure she knew we were high.
He found my weave.. Think he'll still fuck me Friday? And how do I ask for it back?
found inexpensive tickets to Norway. Questioning if its legal. PLEASE tell me you remebered the walkie talkies and face paint.
I know it was you that I fucked last night... I can smell my disappointment all over the sheets
wore my lacy blue thong that says "hello there" across the front today for my gynecologist appointment. I live to make people uncomfortable
Do you think that we can get a group discount on liver transplants? We'll be like kids again!
MEET ME OUTSIDE YOUR HOUSE IN THREE MINUTES. BE DRUNK. THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
You know you're old when tea and a hot bath are more appealing than beer pong with lesbians.
Maybe I'm just didn't notice and imagined a different penis as a Freudian coping mechanism?
They just keep looking funny at me. No one has attempted to tell me that I don't make sense though so maybe they're all way more high than I am.
Maybe if you would fuck your boss you would get string cheese too
He had a tattoo of the Batman logo around his asshole. I noped right the hell out of there.
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