bella threw up all over the kitchen floor then looked at me, laughed, and walked away
isn't bella the cat???
that she is
3 of us had 22 margaritas. Hellllllo yellow cab. Goodbye morals.
Your sister thinks she pees out of her clit. Did you have Sex Ed or Sunday School growing up?
found out this morning via facebook that the guy i met last night has a wife and a baby and he took me to his apartment where he takes girls to cheat on his wife
i mean you met him at the daytona 500
Bad idea. College students cannot afford both alcohol and a cat. Unless said cat is irish, and can feed itself with fifths of whisky.
that blow job was not worth the clinginess that will follow
She's singing So Happy Together to her burrito, I want to be on her level.
My date just wheeled me home in a shopping cart but it was normal
Just know I'm having fun but I still have my motor functions.
My dream of watching a live dick sword fight might never be realized now. Currently sobbing, shots to follow
I found her outside drinking steak sauce out of the bottle.
I was just tongue fucked into oblivion.
She was wearing a grass skirt and a watermelon bra. WATERMELONS.
Alan said you can come over and eat me out anytime you want, as long as we give him enough notice to hide in the closet before we arrive
Only true party girls take their birth control with Smirnoff.
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