So I don't have any furniture but we just skateboard drunk around the floor.
We played Russian Roulette with a revolving Nerf gun. If you shot yourself in the face, you had to drink.
I just found $40 in the jeans I wore last night. PS I also found the jeans I wore last night.
I'm telling you the guy came in bought a box of condoms and all three of the chicks that came in behind him followed him to his car. I want his life
Three people drank on "never have I had sex in a tractor." Iowa at its best?
I need to stop treating my body like that of a Vegas hooker on vacation in Ibiza
Do you know how hard it is to maintain a conversation with someone who just told you they put their cat in the fridge on purpose?
You decided that walking wasn't in the cards for you anymore
Everyone was trying to get you to do a keg stand but you refused & instead declared you could do it yourself, crouched on the keg in your 6 inch heels, leaned over, and gave yourself one.
Why yes. I did get laid looking like that. My sheets look like there was a clown orgy
I'm done being subtle here. MOVE INTO MY EXTRA BEDROOM SO WE CAN FUCK WHENEVER AND NOT HAVE TO WORRY ABOUT FINDING PEOPLE TO HAVE CASUAL SEX WITH.
you live like 200 miles from me and I have two years of school left
goddamnit stop pointing out all the flaws in my plan
I tried to prevent a bar fight. By convincing a guy whacked out on Molly to slap the ass of everyone who was arguing and shout "WOO" each time. I'm proud, surprised, and intrigued that it calmed everyone down so quickly...
Is that a question you really want to ask or do you just want to tell you that I can't walk without feeling like my legs are collapsing underneath me
He called me dainty, then fucked me like the Viking God he is.
This is a friendly reminder to try not to shit on the toilet seat. If our 4 year old can manage it, I think you can too.
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