Yeah well I just ate cereal out of a muffin pan with a fork. I'll flip a coin as to who has to tackle that pile of dishes we've neglected for 3 weeks.
Men with bald spots should not have mohawks. Just in case you didn't know.
I woke up around 30 bottles of beer, with a piece of aluminum foil in my hand, that had "you Win" Wrote in sharpie..
Someone changed my text signature to "Also, I think I might be gay" last night. Also, I think I might be gay
and my souvenir for the night was a nice ambulance blanket
i looked at my phone & had a message that said "tell your friend she needs to clean my livingroom, i dont appreciate her trying to turn it into a bubblebath." I give you probs.
Just finished my quantum homework in ladies room writing with eyeliner. I am the party/physics champion.
Its not gay if you're best friends and there's less than an inch of dick in the picture. That's where the line is drawn
being a senior sucks, I just started embracing my inner slutty college girl, and it's almost time to put her away...for like, ever. and i really like her.
Something about being drunk at 1pm chasing seagulls on the beach while it's raining is very calming
The fact that I took a nap during my midterm shows exactly how I handle being an adult
First sex of the summer I'm winning 1-0
GET HOME NOW
Oh shit
He didn't even realize I was drunk. He probably just thought I loved Torchwood so much that I no longer knew how to use my thumbs
You know the rule about how you feel bad for getting food and not offering other people you're around, does that apply when you eat burger king at a strip club?
Bitch how dare you drink my dos equis
Randomize
