I actually kind of like the booze poos. It's like a colon cleanse. I feel skinnier.
For a whole 2 minutes you were convinced you were talking to my voicemail
please don't let me die tonight
what have you done for me lately?
On the way home from Florida I threw up at the beginning border and ending border of 6 states. You win this year Spring Break.
I made a vision board specifically for the purpose of boning john mayer.
hey girl hope you're alright, you hit that tree really hard. have a good night.
I'll make a Jello mold of your face so everyone can get drunk off your face
she kept yelling about wanting tacos, so I gave her a piece of bologna in a tortilla. she didn't know the difference
We ate a mysterious delivered pizza which no one ordered and then the wii wouldn't work so 20 of us watched porn on two laptops. Drunk took the awkward away.
When we do our power hour over Skype I'm just going to sit on the toilet so that way I won't have to get up in the middle of it and miss any shots
Ive seen his manscaping faults. Given the choice I'd rather dry hump a cactus
Cassie is wearing a baseball cap. This rebound is going nowhere
I just hip-checked Santa and stole his cab.
While having sex, a German accent isn't sexy.
"The More You Know"
really enjoying the fact I don't remember how the staff party ended. feel like I need to shame drink today
feel at noon?
Randomize
