you are hot. that is all.
who is this?
the delivery driver from silvermine.
she was like a sexier Rosie O'Donnel
If she were to ever cheat on her husband, I'm positive I'm the the go to guy. Which flatters me and weirds me out at the same time.
You can't buy drugs with a ziplock bag full of quarters, chuck-e-cheese coins, and a starbucks giftcard.
watch me
Her Grandmother felt me up AND paid for dinner. If she doesn't get her shit together I'm gonna be her Step Grandfather.
Btw I'm currently writing a paper in a beer garden. Be proud.
hey fuckhead. when i said not to grow shrooms in our apartment, that didn't mean "yea, sure. grow shrooms in our apartment"
That stripper was not happy when I tried putting a dollar in her court mandated ankle bracket/tracking device
Paris has not been good for her. Everytime she has a one night stand from a different country, she buys a mini flag and tapes it to her wall with the others
it is a dangerous dangerous place where morals and dignity go to die and all your fantasies about men become reality.
If you don't wanna wax my ass just say so.
I showed up to a job interview wearing two different shoes. If that's not an omen, I don't know what is.
He's the one named Andrew. In his profile picture he is the one on the right in the monkey costume.
Idk, I know when I drink vodka my bi side comes out and I just want to make out with a girl
Why would I want a relationship when I’m the side dick for my boss and a few women from the gym
Randomize
