You keep asking me questions like I have this magical thing called a memory
I just saw a kid walk into class with his dad. Fuck his life.
some guy just walked up to the bench i was on, backflipped off of it, gave me his number and walked away....i love this city
he came on my stomach and it was 1000 degrees in his car. i smelled awesome.
You'd be surprised at how many crooked penises are out there
I really think we need to get on this Charlie Sheen bandwagon
We lost track of him for only 10 min and he gets kicked out for sneaking into the kitchen and trying to operate the deep fryer.
Don't feel bad sweetie, you're not the only classy one in town. I'm still driving around with that tupperware of tequila in my cup holder from last week's Margarita Monday.
I can get stoned and we can bake and then I can eat 70% of it and it will be awesome
Definitely had a dick in my ass while watching the Seahawks win. Best NFC Championship game ever.
I am one with the molecules
Ok, now help me add to my topless picture collection, i'm going to make myself a calendar
she walked up to me at the bar, kissed me, andthen declared "I HAVEN'T SEEN YOU OR YOUR PENIS SINCE 2011."
i don't care if you are my best friend. does not give you the right to describe how well my sister gives blowjobs.
how about your cousin?
You were leaning against a fire hydrant asking people if they wanted to buy free pocket peanuts from you.
Randomize
