so after the bed broke we walked out of the room to a standing ovation
I just smoked pot in front of my old Elementary School. It's like my Childhood and Adulthood are coming together in this awesome thing.
He corrected me on my grammar when I came. Fuck English majors.
Just hooked up with a girl I met in line at Taco Bell. I told you leave me to do my own thing and I'll get it in
also since I use google voice my ads in gmail switched to DUI services after this conversation
I feel like fucking him is something we all do but don't want to admit to. like masturbating or peeing in the shower
Peeing off the roof of a motel lighting a cigar with matches and speaking fluent spanish with a chilen exchange student...how do iget into these situations?
I'm told I threw my cigarettes at the TV one by one Shouting about the cast of Community.
Imagine Arby's curly fries spiraled around a dick
Orientation leader success, day 1: incoming freshman just ate out his first sorority girl. I gave him a 7/10.
Dude at one point I lost you only to find you sitting in the bushes eating pizza.
After the apocalypse all we'll have is vodka and twinkles.
Will you rub my calves while I masturbate?
I love everything about him! His penis, his hair, his tattoos, his penis, his cat, his penis.
See that doesn't work because we've had sex so its awkward for you to call me mom
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