Rocking a Headband at the strip club, because of Rock of Love this shit is like their kryptonite, I smell like stripper butter and back child support.
You are not answering and I think it is because you spent 80 dollars worth of drinks on you hot cousin.
i forgot i changed ur name in my phone to "the situation" so when u texted me i got really excited for a hot second
i thought we decided on me being "the altercation" instead
He doesn't make grammatical errors. Even while getting head.
And for some reason I was covered in ants... So your probably covered in ants as well
After Thursday my breakup "don't screw anybody out of respect" month will be over and I will be set loose. My pussy is purring with anticipation.
Rush week is fine, only the t-shirts are white and if it rains, the frat boys in their lawn chairs will be treated to 800 freshmen girls in their first wet tshirt contest.
Welcome to college.
Thanks to you and Ketel One I now have a court summons with the actual word "frolicking" on it.
How do you respond to a booty call from yesterday?
He has a bed frame and a headboard.... That match his dresser and nightstand...
Hahah. That's good.
I feel like you don't understand the severity with which this weirds me out...
you got in a fight with your imaginary friend last night when he didn't catch you after a surprise trust fall
Let me rub your butt and eat French fries from your mouth and dip them in your ketchup filled belly button.
So I considered mediating this morning and instead I master-bated...same thing right?
I literally just woke up in a dog bed, in a bathtub in someone else's house...and I'm not wearing pants
My ex is stopping by while he’s working tonight after delivering a pizza to fuck me, then going back to work at Pizza Hut. This is what my life has become.
Randomize