I was amazed that you fell flat on your ass and still managed not to spill them drinks in your hands. Your getting good at this.
Hurry up. We're trading phones to prevent drunk texting.
You know what is really helpful - when the two guys you want to fuck stand next to each other. Stay tuned for who wins
Sudden realization: I dumped him because he was too immature, yet I am the one who moved back into my parent's basement post-breakup.
The kid I'm babysitting just asked if I had a boyfriend. WHY IS A FOUR YEAR OLD MAKING ME FEEL BAD ABOUT MY LIFE
Why am I sticky / covered in baby Tylonel?
Please hurry. I'm the only one here who's not an attorney with a trophy wife.
Just bumped into my ex. Blowing a dude in the ladies' room at Disney World. I guess it really was her not me.
she used her teeth again, but this time it was out of love
The dude is a cop how would I ever date a cop I wouldn't be able to talk about the first TWENTY-SEVEN years of my life!
It's beautiful and huge. Like a dinosaur.
Can I get my morals surgically removed?
I just got promised sex at a fire station tonight so basically all my porn star dreams are coming true.
she told him my safe word. I'm gonna casually work it into conversation and at him suggestively to see if he realizes i want to have rough sex with him
So. Much. Porn.
Randomize
