I don't understand why we need a holiday to become more aware of boobs...
I am now the proud owner of a 10-12 year old's Optimus Prime costume from Walmart. Tomorrow is going to be a good day.
i made two phi delts show me their dicks in less than 30 words! Take that twitter!
you kept lying down on the floor at the bar just to prove you could get back up
theres always time to masturbate. my grandpa taught me that.
peeing off your aunts pourch into the koy pond seemed like a good idea at the time
i'm sick of coming in second next to bourbon.
It's national boyfriend day supposedly, would it be appropriate if I posted a picture of my dildo?
So, I'm drinking, and I put my head down in the table. The cat jumped up to check on me, I have a cat sober monitor.
She had a tattoo on her pelvis that said "it's cock-o-clock" an had clocks and hot dogs exploding away from it. I'd like to tell you it was deal breaker buuuuuuut.......
Definitely but only if you hit on the 16 year old in the karate class as part of your waffle and gin fueled sexually deprived rage.
He didn't get laid that weekend.. and that is honestly an accomplishment for the rest of us.
Last night was so embarrassing. I got like almost blackout drunk and threw up in my hand and then blamed it on someone else.
So you'd go straight for a fat chick with cheese on her tits?
Yes.
Dude I woke up with a handprint shaped bruise on my ass, a pong ball in my cleavage, and somebody else's gold chain around my neck. Who's house am I in?
Randomize
