somehow on my way home with matt, I ended up straddling steve on the sidewalk and polling the people walking by on whether or not we should have sex.
I just woke up in the 4th floor lounge at 5:30AM with my ipod on to springsteen and a condom on
We just got really drunk and bought toilet paper. Successful Monday.
For sure. We should see if we can get Mike to pay for one, and have a triple kegger... :o==& (that's future me projectile vomiting. i try to be goal oriented)
all but 2 of were put on probation for disorderly conduct. i know, visiting a hospital when your drunk is really stupid but it seemed like such a good idea at the time
swear to god, "it seemed like a good idea at the time" is gonna be on your epitaph
Do you remember snorting allspice and yelling at doughnut shop girl?
No, listening to the fray and drinking a bottle of jack daniels does not count as counseling
Heard puking from next door. Looks like the third floor won't be any different than the second.
She told me she gets scared easily and that I had to protect her. Then I made a condom joke that ended up making her cry... All bad dude
...and as she's going down on me I look at the speedo and I'm doing 15 under, with 6 cars tailgating me, and I know her parents saw her head pop up because they were the car right behind us.
Last night I said "I'm so glad you broke up with your lesbian soccer mom girlfriend" I don't remember how he reacted I just remember trying to pee in the woods
I slept with one of the directors so you would get a good price on the ballroom for your reception. I'm the best MOH. You owe me bitch
i like that he makes me laugh. those are like my two favorite things. laughing and fucking.
I cant believe you bit her ass cheek, she must have been really weirded out.
yeah so we made out to make it less awkward
I may have passed out and puked all over the host's favorite couch, but three hours and a rip later, I was eating tiramisu in the bathtub with the birthday boy and a hot Italian.
Randomize
