Booty call?
Dude you don't even follow my twitter
Those former-lesbian gone white-trash bars always seem to be your favorite.
Whenever someone from high school gets pregnant or has a pregnancy scare my self esteem grows a good 5 points
i can barely afford taco bell don't think a baby is in the budget
Yeah I should probably start planning our first conversation instead of our first child.
Cock is NEVER random. You may quote me on that.
FYI: telling a guy his dick is more impressive than you remembered it - they don't take it as a compliment.
Just realized Ive had sex in or around each thing listed in Green Eggs and Ham besides the fox.
The Supreme Court upheld health insurance. If that's not an excuse to get hospital drunk, I don't know what is.
Ughhh I can't remember the last time "time fell back or springed forward" and I wasn't at the bar to argue about it :(
Wednesday is my day of reflection and making my dick and balls into shapes. So i'll be pretty busy.
We always end up having sex in random places after class. I need to stop letting this dude borrow my pens.
He is currently in a meeting and I am sexting him in Italian
And he's using Google translate to reply. Who says cross country relationships can't be fun?
So I can confidently say that I'm the only 3rd year engineering student who completed all 4 of their exams with One Direction pens
I'm pretty sure our sex is better than most foods and that says a lot too bc I really like food
Randomize
