So she farted while we were having sex but I was afraid she would stop because she was emberessed so i just went ahead and took the blame and apologized
he doesn't care that i have a boyfriend so why should i?
logic in its finest
I think he'd cut a tree down for me. He's from North Dakota. That's something hot guys do there, right?
when I sang my humps to you I meant it.
If your wondering where your blanket is, I put it on the 2 guys you brought home last night. Their still sleeping outside on the trampoline.
laying naked on couch sucking water through straw. i can still feel the orgasm from last night. thank you mdma.
She looked at me and said "i like penises." and then passed out with her condom balloon animal in her hands.
Apparently I tried to convince him to sleep with me by showing him that I could do dips....
This is why I can't have Wednesdays.... Or adult decisions.
Pretty sure I was high. I thought there was music coming out of my makeup bag.
FUCK... Pulled a chick from the bar went to her house passed out on the shitter. She lives in a house full of girls. They were making poop jokes as i left
Because drinking and showering don't go hand in hand. There that's my PSA of the day.
You don't even know. The entire marching band thinks I'm an alcoholic.
MY COWORKER IS ATTRACTIVE AND I DROPPED A SONIC THE HEDGEHOG JOKE IN CONVERSATION I FUCKED UP
I used your vibrator when you were out of town. Now I know why you always come out of your room smiling.
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