I'm so over stopping myself from talking about my sexual experiences in front of children.
when she said she's going upstairs to put her "play clothes" on, I knew either she was a pervert or a kindergarten teacher. Either way, I wasn't going to leave. She's a pervert by the way.
In the middle of switching positions, we shared a line of coke. It's was like a modern-day 'Lady and the Tramp.'
I was chocking and even did the sign for it..And you continued to just laugh
She came to the party dressed as slutty elmo and then called me oscar the grouch for not wanting to bang her in the dumpster outside.
she is way to in-touch with her childhood
Well, I want to see you regardless of whether or not you will lick whipped cream off my body.
By the way, I'm pretty sure your husband is publicly advocating more BJs for my husband, via Facebook.
I'm just gonna wear a long dress with no panties today. My pussy needs a break.
Ate a live seahorse, then tried to order a nacho bell grande from an ATM.
How the fuck do you get to keep practicing as a Nurse.
The guy who's car I hit last night just followed me on Twitter...not sure how to feel about it.
I need a costume
Dude just wear a bra or something hahaha
I take Paypal, cash, sexual favors, and roasted red potatoes with garlic as payment. You choose.
You tried to lick the lightbulb and fell off of the chair onto my wife and gave her a concussion. Did i mention you were naked?
Yes we can sext. I'm taking my socks off.
its 4am. iam sitting in the luggage car of the train eating beef jerkey. i feel like a hobo.
dont insult. no hobo is as pathetic as you.
Randomize
